Science as a Scare Tactic

Last week, getting ready in the morning, NPR tuned in on our little radio on the bathroom counter, I heard a clip about how the legalization of marijuana has impacted teenagers in Colorado. A police officer was interviewed, a parent of a two-year old herself, sharing how the prevalence of edibles or vapors makes it nearly impossible to detect that a middle school student has "stepped outside" and consumed marijuana in some way.

The news story was short, probably thirty-seconds, and my mind took that snippet and ran. I found myself planning for our daughter (to be born in three months) to become very knowledgeable in science, her deep and complete understanding of the workings of the human brain and complex connections, the basis of my parenting plan. Perhaps we'd throw in a few factual tales of people permanently damaging their brains through snorting spray aresol or deading their neural connections with pot. The scare tactics might have a chance of being effective if she understood what was happening in the brain as the once attractive and sporty eighth grade boy dulled, lost his speech and became vacant.

That's when I realized that I wanted to scare our yet unborn daughter into being terrified of risk-taking lest she break her brain. I only momentarily stopped myself before I also considered emphasizing a deeper understanding of viruses, like herpes, might scare her off being sexually active. True, it might give her unnecessary phobias, making sex seem dangerous, ugly and anxiety-producing, and then my parenting scheme would backfire.

Our daughter isn't even born yet and I'm contemplating how to thwart the inevitable thrill-seeking, risk-oblivious phase which could start between 12 and 19. I thought about renting the movie Thirteen and watching it together - what would prove a painfully awkward experience for our daughter, sitting beside me and then obediently engaging in a confusing conversation about sex and drugs with her mother, probably at too early of an age because I wanted to ensure the viewing wasn't coming too late.

Ten years as a vice principal and principal in middle and high schools showed me hundreds of well adjusted kids, dipping their toes in adolescent rebellion, with no physical or mental risk. It also showed me fourteen year olds who started smoking pot at age 10, dull and drugged by freshmen year. Seventh grade girls snapping nude photos of themselves in the bathroom stall during third period and texting them to an eighth grade boy.  Arms streaked with purplish scars and fresh red cuts, razor blade marks covered by long sleeve shirts, waistbands, hidden on the inner thighs.

This story and parenting plan unfolded in my head within ten minutes. Despite all of my training in working with adolescents, despite my natural inclination to talk and process, when things as scary as drugs or sex cross my mind when I think about our yet unborn daughter, it is amazing how quickly I found comfort in good old-fashioned scare tactics. I suppose forcing her knowledge of science isn't the worst approach - I'm banking on her brilliant brain stearing her clear of harm and  getting her into Yale.